th!nk

so here I am in Afrikaa and yet of late existing in my head. Perhaps I could never be a true anarchist because I can't seem to go long - no matter what country I'm in - without seeking out and inhabiting a good ol', government sponsored library. I was so happy to have something to read other than my phrasebook I finished a 300 something page book in about 2 days.
What I've been reading of late: Beyond PC (politically correct): the politics of understanding.
written in the 90's as more women and minorities were coming into the universities its basically about changing curriculum to better represent everyones point of view. A bunch of essays on those who support this and those who don't and those who render the whole argument irrelevant. Made me want to go to college and yet despise that you have to pay to get into an area where people are discussing anything of importance.
Next I'm reading some of the writings of Steve Biko (Frank Talk) who was a black rights activist during apartheid and the creation of bantustans in South Africa. He was shackled, naked in jail and brutally clubbed to death by policemen who were never charged. Rather grim stuff just for having an opinion. If there was ever a place to work out your feelings on racism and its past Africa isn't a bad choice.
And next I'll be starting a very rather large book titled: Government and the Governed, or something like that. Written in the 1930's it seems to be mainly a history book.
Other than that I've been thinking up a storm.
For a few nights I had a little rash of insomnia, mainly comprising of the inability to fall asleep because I just kept thinking thinking thinking.. of course it was accompanied by the inability to stay asleep nor go back to sleep once awake. Of course the 5 a.m. mosque services help none. I think it has passed but I'm still regularly waking very early in the morning and just sort of hanging out in bed trying to discourage Ngoro from rolling on top of me.
I've been thinking about money and privilege and being guilty through birth and a solution to that guilt as well as a million unrelated things about my friends and the weirdness of the Swahili language. Worrying about coming back to the states and not progressing in my Swahili at all. Making up imaginary business's I want to start in the U.S. and about how its a shame there isn't the ubiquitousness of fresh fruits, nuts and vegetables there is here and for the prices here! It's hard to avoid being surrounded by pineapples (40 cents), bananas (I've gotten up to 17 for one dollar), cucumbers, tomatoes, cassava root, bags of peanuts, roasting corn on the cob, tangerines, oranges, spinach bundles, chinese, onions, etc... all for pennies. I could totally come back to the U.S. and set up a lil' side of the road fruit shop, yeah?
As for my health, my stomachs straightened itself out but now I'm having some throat problems that are more or less inevitable considering I'm living inside a house made of dust, sleeping with my head next to a fume-spewing kerosene lantern and am constantly followed by the smoke of ever present burning trash piles. Unfortunately I really like the taste of Halls cough drops so I already ate all the ones I brought. I'll stick to hard candy and head to a duka la dawa (shop of medicine) should things digress.
Deus is sick with malaria but should be coming tomorrow. I've been in Kigoma all of about 3 weeks. My plan today is to read more, buy candy, go to Ngoros shop and correct her English while she corrects my Swahili (we agreed on this before bed last night), eat, maybe nap, etc.
My moments of despair about the trip have passed for now. I realized first that what made time worthwhile was your friends (and incorrectly thought this meant I should have stayed home with them) and realized second that you can always make a new friend (not to mention retreat into a book).
So here I am dirty, with hair so full of mud its all straight and breaking to bits, spying on my friends online and soaking up nytimes.com
Off to Gombe soon!